Horizon rising up to meet the purple dawn
Dust demon screaming, bring an eagle to lead me on
For in my heart I carry such a heavy load
Here I am on Man's road, walking Man's road, walking Man's road

I'm hungry, weary, but I cannot lay me down
The rain comes, dreary, but there's no shelter I have found
It will be a long time till I find my abode
Here I am on Man's road, walking Man's road

Moon rising, disguising lonely streets in gay displays
The stars fade, the night shade falls and makes the world afraid
It waits in silence for the sky to explode
Here I am on Man's road, walking Man's road


My life is so incredibly hectic right now, and I barely have time to think about everything. My school schedule is loaded and includes AP classes, and it's just so hard when half the seniors around me have about three or four classes and are home by lunchtime. I keep telling myself it is SO worth it, and I'll be thanking myself for this before long. If a senior slacks off senior year, colleges are not pleased. (I'm also hoping to go into college with several credits accumulated from AP exams.)

I haven't had time for much. I've realized there's no way I can keep updating my webnovel--though, that doesn't mean I'm not writing. Quite the contrary. It's just too much work to do the whole online thing. (Actually I just ordered a super awesome old-fashioned looking journal to write The Key in ) I haven't really had time for personal art, either, or going on DA, or sleep. Definitely not a lot of sleep. Between school, cross country, and college planning, I'm booked.

Speaking of college...that may be one of the things stressing me out the most right now. I don't know where I want to go, or what I want to do. Not knowing what I want to do makes it hard to choose where to go, actually (so I'll probably end up at a bigger school simply for the options). I envy people who know exactly what they want to do.

My biggest problem right now is trying to decide whether or not I want to go into art. Any other major I could always switch, but with art I would have to know before going, because you have to get a portfolio reviewed, etc. I love art. It relaxes me, but I feel like I might begin to hate it when it became a job. I don't want to ruin it. And also, I consider myself a decent artist, but I feel like I lack the innovation you need to make it in the art world. Art is such a risky field, so you need to be really good so you're sure to land a job. My family is pretty against me going into art; they don't think it has enough security. Meanwhile, my teachers are all for it. Then, what do I want? I have no idea.

I know you can ALWAYS change your mind about what you want to do, and I try to keep reminding myself that. But I don't have all the money in the world to waste on classes from a major I left behind. As for other majors...I do think that, beyond art, even, creative writing is my true passion, or even stories in general. That's even riskier than art, though. I considered advertising for a while, but I don't think I'm meant to be in the business world. I've also considered neuroscience. The only problem with that is that you spend YEARS in school, so it's the kind of thing that if you do it, you're gonna do it. No going back or changing your mind.

Ugh. I barely have time to think about college or look at stuff, which makes this even harder. Right now, all I can do is do as much as I can with the time I have, and try to stay sane.

I'm going crazy...you coming?

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The Fuzzy Sock

My Webnovel, The Key
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